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Blog http://artofdeliberatesuccess.com/blog/rss Myths of Success http://artofdeliberatesuccess.com/blog/myths-of-success/ Successful people, those who achieve extraordinary results, have a certain way of approaching their lives. The success they achieve is never down to good fortune or even the ability to work hard. Successful people achieve simply because they see the world differently from everyone else. And then they act on what they see.
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Developing the ability to look upon your world in a new way involves questioning some common thinking patterns and rejecting the myths that keep us from achieving our full potential. Three of the most restrictive myths are: stress is bad for us; our goal should be to achieve happiness; and that being busy is a good thing.
Myth 1: Life is Stressful
In survey after survey, stress is identified as one of the most pressing problems of our age. Indeed, for organisations, stress has major implications as it is the prime contributor to absenteeism, workplace conflict, low productivity and low morale. It is also behind the recently reported phenomenon of presenteeism, a situation where employees are physically present but their minds are not on the job. According to the Harvard Business Review, a study conducted by Tufts-New England Medical Center in Boston found that presenteeism costs employers far more than absenteeism.
During my workshops, I ask participants to identify the causes of stress in their lives. All can easily generate a long list of factors, such as financial woes, relationships, childcare, ageing parents, work/life imbalance, unclear expectations at work, or too much to do with too little time and so on. I then ask the participants to examine these factors one by one, with the aim of isolating the underlying reason each factor causes them stress. In one hundred percent of cases, it is not the factor itself that is stressful but the participants’ reaction to the factor that causes them stress. This is a very important point. Once recognised, it can fundamentally change your life.
In simple terms, it means that you can choose to be stressed or not.
Now, in putting forward this argument, I am aware that some stress — which I prefer to call pressure — is actually healthy and useful. It helps us to get out of bed in the morning and raises our energy levels when there is a task to be done. The interesting question is at what point does stress turn from being healthy to unhelpful and potentially destructive?
I believe that you already know the answer to this question. If you look at situations where you were in the unhealthy zone, you will notice telltale signs. For example, some people become very quiet and introverted, some develop a short fuse and become irritable, and some develop excessive behaviours such as eating, drinking or sleeping too much or too little. I know one person who knows she is stressed when a rash appears on the inside of her left wrist!
The key point here is for you to develop an awareness of the signals that you are moving from feeling healthy pressure to unhealthy stress. When you become sensitive to stress in this way, you can take action and make decisions that dramatically reduce the problems of stress in your life.
This, then, is one of the most important steps towards becoming successful. It is becoming so self-aware that you can actually use stress to your advantage.
Myth 2: Happiness is the Goal
If your goal in life is to be happy, I can guarantee that you never will be. Now that is a pretty strong statement, but I wanted to shock you into looking at the idea of happiness again.
The trouble with happiness is that it is a feeling that gains a momentary foothold only to be replaced by other feelings. It is a bit like the sun on your face: wonderful while it lasts, but after some time the clouds come.
If we set up our lives seeking happiness, we are assured of disappointment. I have seen that people who are driven by the search for happiness are never really successful because their mental state is highly volatile and unreliable. The quality of their lives is determined by what happened yesterday (or five minutes ago), and they are constantly seeking the next high to make them happy. This self-perpetuating state of dissatisfaction explains why, for some people, spending money, eating and drinking, or even working hard can become such addictive activities.
In my experience, it is far better to see happiness not so much as a goal or something to be achieved, but rather as a result or by-product of doing something else. And the best way I know of doing that is to make ‘living a life of purpose’ your primary motivation. As the writer Richard Leider so beautifully put it: “The purpose of life is to live a life of purpose”. When you know what your purpose is, and live every day moving closer and closer to what is important, happiness is what you get. Happiness, therefore, is not something you go after. It comes to you.
Myth 3: Busy is Best
How often have you been asked if you are busy? It’s a most interesting question because behind it lurks some fundamental assumptions that colour how you might answer – irrespective of the truth. Perhaps the most significant assumption is that being busy is a good thing. And, conversely, not being busy – being idle – is undesirable. For some reason, people assume that to be busy is to be productive and, by extension, content.
Now you may think I am harping on a technicality here, but I am convinced that this one question has a profound influence on how we live and the results we get in our lives. To test this, the next time you are asked the question, ‘Are you busy?’ simply say ‘no’ or ‘not really’ and see what kind of reaction you get. You may hear, ‘Oh dear, what’s wrong?’ ‘It will come right’ or, my personal favourite, ‘Lucky for some’ – in other words, ‘I am busy and you should be too’.
If you are feeling really adventurous, you could try it with your boss and see what happens. The most likely outcome is that you are given more work to do!
The problem is that this mistaken logic is so ingrained in our culture that we don’t even notice it. For example, people who are seen to be the busiest are more sought after and more highly rewarded in organisations. And, if you are a parent, there is thought to be something wrong with you unless you are constantly ferrying your kids from one sporting activity to the next. The implication here is that being busy is socially acceptable and normal, while not being busy is abnormal. This leads people to generate busyness in their lives for the sake of being busy.
It is far better to be busy with the things that really matter and to ignore the things that are not that important. In this way, you can really focus on things that are moving you closer to real success. Incidentally, my answer to the question ‘Are you busy?’ is ‘I am as busy as I choose to be!’
When you take these three myths and subject them to some healthy questioning, you may be surprised by what you discover. I believe you’ll begin to see your professional and personal life in a new way. And when you see with fresh eyes, you’ll act in ways that bring about extraordinary success.
-- David Keane
 Wed, 01 Jun 2016 19:17:34 +1200 http://artofdeliberatesuccess.com/blog/myths-of-success/ Where are You http://artofdeliberatesuccess.com/blog/where-are-you/ While at work, how often have you found yourself thinking about everything else but work? For many of us, I suspect the answer is “frequently” or “very frequently” depending on how honest we are with ourselves.
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When you really look at it, you may be surprised to discover the amount of work time we squander by fretting about things that never happened, planning for non-work activities that could easily be done later, or simply replaying events in our minds that have little bearing on our job role or the task in front of us.
 It’s a common problem and one that organisations are beginning to pay attention to. Indeed organisational researchers have estimated that in many workplaces employees spend less than 30% of their time focussed on what they are meant to be doing. This is especially a problem in jobs with a high element of knowledge content where the primary output from the worker is ideas or concepts that are the direct result of some kind of “thinking” activity.
The interesting questions are why do we have such difficulty concentrating on our work, and what can organisations do to increase that percentage?
To answer the why part, we need to take a step back and look more closely at the mindset of the employee. There are two aspects to this. 
First, we need to determine how “engaged” the person is with their role, their organisation or even the industry in which they are working. When a person is strongly engaged they have made a direct and emotional connection between their personal values, goals and aspirations and what it is their organisation is setting out to do. 
With strong engagement, a person becomes passionate about their work because they can easily see the relationship between the work they do, and something they believe in. And once that passion is ignited, the employees feel enthusiastic about their work and how they can contribute.
The second aspect is about the “mental toolkit” that employees have available to help them in keeping concentration on workplace tasks although at times these tasks may be challenging, unpleasant, or even boring. 
The great news is that with training and practice, everybody can get better at managing their mind and their mental state so that there are able to achieve more with less effort than they ever thought possible. For example, techniques such as personal workflow management, planned creativity, and the smart handling of email are a few of the ways that we can all learn and put into action within our lives.
From an organisational perspective (what can we do), it’s important that employees at all levels are encouraged to take some time out and question their motivation for their work. Are they working because they have to, or do they feel engaged at an emotional level with the work of the organisation? And, ultimately, what does “success” mean for them?
It’s also critically important that employees develop good skills of self-management which they can put into action if they find themselves loosing focus on the task in front of them. The learning and application of these skills requires constant effort and a supportive workplace culture that values learning from the experiences of others.
By helping your people to find personal engagement and passion in their work and then encouraging the development of skills of self-management you will be well on your way to making every hour at work a great hour.
-- David Keane
 Wed, 01 Jul 2015 19:17:34 +1200 http://artofdeliberatesuccess.com/blog/where-are-you/ Gen Y and Success http://artofdeliberatesuccess.com/blog/gen-y-and-success/ Research by the Penna Group has shed some new light on how Gen Y (born between 1980 and 1996) think about themselves and their organisations. Penna surveyed the views of 1,000 employees (in two groups between 18-24 and 25-34) as well as the perspectives of 1,000 senior managers.
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The surprising findings of this research are:
<ul><li>30% of managers expect Gen Y employees to take on leadership/management roles, however less than one fifth of employees currently see this as a long-term goal.</li>
<li>Only 3% of managers see loyalty as a key quality that Gen Y bring to the workplace, compared to 65% of Gen Y employees.</li>
<li>40% of Gen Y employees see it as their responsibility to manage their careers yet only 15% of managers credit them with being equipped to do so.</li>
</ul> These research results clearly demonstrate that differences of perception along with inaccurate stereotyping explain how employees and their bosses hold such vastly different positions. And of course, several important implications follow in the way we manage, lead, and think about this generation in our workplaces. At the heart of the issue is how different generations define “success”. For Gen Y, success is more about doing something you love and of doing something that makes a difference. In older generations, success was about achieving seniority, position and title, and ultimately a bigger salary. What Gen Y have seen – perhaps through the lives of their parents – is that the effort involved in climbing the greasy corporate latter, is simply not worth it. That combined with better education, means that Gen Y have greater choices and more influence on how they can uniquely define “success” for themselves. As a manager then of a Gen Y, you need to acknowledge that what has worked to motivate you, will not necessarily be effective with many of your current employees. It also means that some people will be happier doing jobs that appeal to their sense of meaning or contribution rather than seeking the next promotion or even positions of leadership. At the same time, as shown from the Penna data, Gen Y have a stronger than expected bond with their organisation. It seems that once they have found a job they like, and have developed some passion for the work they do, they become staunch supporters and advocates for their employer. On reflection, this rather surprising data, is explainable. Given that Gen Y will typically seek out employers that are aligned with their own value system, it follows that once they do find a suitable role, it is more likely to more fully engage them when they begin working for that employer. With that level of engagement the employee will likely develop an emotional bond with their workplace, their colleagues, and the work that they do. It’s important therefore that employers invest time in having meaningful “alignment” conversations with their people and, in that way, reinforce what it means to work here and why the work you do really matters. Done well and assuming the Penna data, you will have 6 or 7 out of every 10 Gen Y employees proactively advocating for your organisation and the ultimate ambassadors for your brand. They will also become your best recruiters of other like-minded Gen Y’ers. There is no doubt that Gen Y have accepted responsibility for their own career development and will more readily move between employers if their expectations are not being satisfied. Interestingly, with only 15% of managers acknowledging that they (employees) have the skills of career management, there is a risk that bosses will take too much for granted and end up losing some of their best people. One effective strategy would be to put programmes in place to actively work with your Gen Y people to help them with their careers beyond their current role, or even their current organisation. It’s about recognising that your people have unrealised potential and part of your job is to help them to be the best that they can be. If you can help your people with their career management, they will thank you for it. When we look at it closely, many of the generalisations we often hear about Gen Y are simply untrue. They are not necessarily self-centred, money-driven and short-term focussed. Perhaps they are young people who are driven by the passion to do something that matters and they are impatient to make their contribution. Gen Y bring essential skills to your organisation, it’s up to us to make sure we give them every opportunity to be successful.
-- David Keane Mon, 01 Jun 2015 12:38:45 +1200 http://artofdeliberatesuccess.com/blog/gen-y-and-success/ Wake Up http://artofdeliberatesuccess.com/blog/wake-up/ When I asked a friend how he lost so much weight so quickly, he gave an unusual answer: “I simply woke up” he said. Whatever do you mean? Surely, just getting up a little earlier did not produce these amazing results.
 <a href="http://artofdeliberatesuccess.com/assets/Downloads/Wake-Up-NZMGT.pdf" target="_blank"><img class="left" src="http://artofdeliberatesuccess.com/assets/Icons/downloadarticle.png" width="176" height="37" alt="" title=""/></a> Terry went on to explain that he began to wake up to his life. Awake to the everyday choices that all of us make – how to use time, what to read, what to eat, when to eat, how much exercise to have, when to go to bed, when to arise and so on. Having a heightened sense of alertness to all these choices, lead Terry to make better, more informed decisions, and soon enough the results followed. And there is a lesson there for us too. Perhaps we get the results that we get, simply because we are asleep to our lives, not bothering, for whatever reason, to become aware of what we are doing and why we are doing it. Not only does this apply to our professional and personal lives, but is also is true in the way we lead teams and indeed how we manage organisations. In becoming awake, we are battling against two forces that lull us to sleep: habit and self-control. Both these work together making us want to ‘distance’ ourselves from reality by giving us the illusion that what we have done in the past is just fine and it’s all too much of an effort anyway. Most of us underestimate the power of habit in our lives. Habits are learned behaviours that make our decision making automatic. Over time, one by one, small individual habits become set in our pattern of how we operate, and before we know it, their accumulated effect has a powerful influence on how we think and how we go about things. One study by researchers at Duke University found that more than 40 percent of the actions people performed each day weren’t actual decisions, but habits. If you think about your everyday life, from the moment you get up in the morning, to going to bed at night, you may be surprised how much habit governs our behaviours, and therefore, the results we get in our lives. Perhaps, unknowingly, we don’t choose how to live as much as we might imagine. Of course one of the benefits of living with our habits is that, by automating decisions, they reduce complexity and unnecessary choice making. Years ago, Edward de Bono calculated that there were over 80,000 different ways of putting your clothes on! Yet, when you reflect on how you dressed this morning, it’s likely that your morning routine served you well and greater reduced any potential anxiety about which sock to put on first. By waking up to the power of habits in our lives we put ourselves in the position of being able to change those behaviours that are unhelpful or even destructive. Charles Duhigg writing in The Power of Habit, makes the point that by focussing on one pattern – what is known as a “keystone habit” – we are able to influence a stream of other habits and therefore reset many of our programmed behaviours. The trick is to know what these keystone habits are and go to work on these first. The second force that can keep us asleep is self-control, or more precisely, our lack of self-control. Many research studies have shown that the ability to delay gratification is critical to living a successful and fulfilling life. Otherwise known as “willpower” we now know they are specific techniques to increase your ability to do what’s right rather than do what’s short-term or immediately gratifying. One of these techniques is to develop the skill of remembering what is truly important as you go about your day. If you know the why behind what you’re doing, you’ll have created a context in which to base your decisions and choice making. Most of us are so busy getting on with the “doing” that we fail to focus on the “why” and, consequently, this erodes our willpower. We may find ourselves making decisions that we regret later. Waking up begins with individuals taking self-responsibility for how they live their personal and professional lives. It involves a heightened sense of self-awareness combined with an honest appraisal of the habits we have formed and a strengthening of our willpower. If we do this inner work first, we become authentic leaders of teams and our organisations.
-- David Keane Fri, 01 May 2015 10:15:19 +1200 http://artofdeliberatesuccess.com/blog/wake-up/ Procrastinate Later http://artofdeliberatesuccess.com/blog/procrastinate-later/ The avoidance of doing a task which needs to be done – postponing until tomorrow what can (and should) be done today – is one of the main obstacles to us achieving success in our professional and personal lives. And it seems that procrastination is on the rise. 
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In the book, The Procrastination Equation, Piers Steel found from his extensive research that in 1978 only about 5 per cent of people thought of themselves as chronic procrastinators; today, that figure is 26 per cent. Some studies suggest that upwards of 80% of people self-report as experiencing procrastination to varying degrees.
Procrastination not only affects a person's work, but also commonly invokes feelings such as guilt, inadequacy, self-disgust, stress and depression. And of course, not getting things done when they should be done, can mean missed opportunity as well as all kinds of problems with those who are depending on us.
While there are many underlying causes of procrastination, we can group the main reasons into three broad headings: no why, fear, and cognitive distortions. No Why It has been said that if you can figure out the “why” behind something, you’ll inevitably find the “how” despite the challenges you may be facing. The problem is that in thinking about the task ahead, we put our focus on aspects of the doing including our ideas about the task itself – how hard it is, how boring it is, how we should have done it yesterday. And because our attention is so directed, we tend to get tied up in negativity and, as a result, our motivation soon diminishes. It’s far better to take a brief pause before starting a task and clearly articulate why the doing of the task ahead, is of value. Articulate in what way is the task related to what is important to you? Is the completion of this task leading you closer to what success means to you? Can you see a link to some greater and worthwhile purpose? In taking this approach, you may well come to the conclusion that the task does not need to be done after all. Perhaps there are more important ways of spending your time, or perhaps you can outsource or delegate it to someone else. And if you indeed believe that the task is worth doing – the why – you’ll be really clear, and therefore more motivated to start now and do it well. Fear Procrastinators can be tormented by a range of fears which create an intense desire to delay performing a task or simply wait for its expiration so that it no longer has to be dealt with. Such fears include the fear of failure, the fear of success, and the fear of being controlled. Most fears are not logical as such, but are scripted in deeply held beliefs that give rise to emotional reasons why delay is preferred over taking action. One of the biggest fears we have is the need for perfection. We convince ourselves that it’s better not to start until conditions are ideal and we have the best chance of producing a 100% outcome. We fear not making some standard which is often unattainable or even required. The problem here is that, in reality, there are no perfect conditions and the best approach is to start and the way ahead will ‘emerge’ or be shown to you as you make progress. Overcoming fear-based procrastination requires honest reflection and some healthy questioning of your beliefs. Perhaps your beliefs have been holding you back from getting important things done. Cognitive Distortions Procrastinators tell lies to themselves. Such as, “I’ll feel more like doing this tomorrow” or “I work best under pressure” or “I’ll just get started with something else and then get to what my main task is”. Another big lie procrastinators indulge in is that time pressure makes them more creative. The truth is that none of these ideas are helpful. They are only excuses for delaying action. Very often, you’ll find that once you begin, you’ll find a momentum in what you’re doing that carries you forward in a way that produces its own benefits and feelings of self-satisfaction and progress. The key, it seems, is to just get started, despite how you feel. The writer Brian Tracy wrote a book aptly titled Eat that Frog in which he likens the procrastinator’s dilemma to someone whose is faced with a frog to eat – and it must be done. Instead of looking anxiously at the frog all day, it’s far better to take the plunge and gobble that frog irrespective of how distasteful it may be. And further, if you’ve got two frogs to eat, the recommendation is to eat the ugliest one first! Whatever it takes, finding ways of getting started quickly, will ensure you don’t get caught up in the lies we tell ourselves. Procrastination then is a solvable problem. Once you have a clear why, overcome the unfounded fears, and have strategies in place to make initial progress quickly, you’ll find your ability to execute on things that matter vastly improved. It has been said that procrastination is the thief of time. Don’t let it rob you of your success.
--David Keane Wed, 01 Apr 2015 16:12:52 +1300 http://artofdeliberatesuccess.com/blog/procrastinate-later/ Mindfulness at Work http://artofdeliberatesuccess.com/blog/mindfulness-at-work/ When Google introduced the ‘Search Inside Yourself’ personal development programme for their people, organisations everywhere started paying attention. Google saw an opportunity to enhance corporate creativity and productivity by offering a unique development programme exclusively focused on enabling each of their people to more fully realise their potential.
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Working with Jon Kabat-Zinn at the University of Massachusetts Medical School, Google built their development programme on a simple idea: if they could help their people become more present in their day-to-day work, the organisational results would be sure to follow. And the key to becoming more present, is to be more mindful throughout the day.
While mindfulness is not a new idea – it can be traced back over 2,500 years to Buddha – Google made it mainstream. They successfully trained their people in techniques of mindfulness which, over time, has become engrained in the Google corporate culture. Nowadays, organisations everywhere are looking at the Google experience and wondering how they too can apply mindfulness ideas. But what does it mean to be mindful and why does it work so well? Simply put, mindfulness is the practice of paying steady and full attention, without judgement or criticism, to our moment-to-moment experience. Unlike meditation, which involves directing the mind in certain ways, mindfulness is a more continuous alertness, or way of doing things, that’s always available to us. Mindfulness is deliberately paying attention – being fully aware of what is happening both inside yourself – in your body, heart, and mind – and outside yourself in your environment. Importantly, mindfulness is awareness without judgement or criticism. When we are mindful, we are not comparing or judging, but simply witnessing the many sensations, thoughts, and emotions that come up as we engage in the ordinary activities of daily life. It’s more about “being” than “doing”. For most of us, getting in a mindful state is a challenge. How often have we arrived home only to discover that we were not really present as we drove our car? We may have a vague memory of the route taken, traffic lights encounter, and the thousand and one other decisions you made on the journey. The trouble is that one of our unique human characteristics, is our ability to imagine the future and to replay the past. It’s what sets us apart from all other animals. It’s unlikely that while eating his dinner, your dog is busy comparing today’s food with yesterday, or wondering if tomorrows menu will be different! But, for us humans, we spend most of our time, not enjoying our food so to speak, but imagining, comparing and contrasting. When we develop the skill of being in the moment, our lives take on a vibrancy which is not only more enjoyable, but improves our day-to-day decision making. Because we are more in touch with reality, we more clearly anticipate needs and opportunities around us and therefore can take action that is appropriate to the situation in front of us. Research studies show that mindfulness increases our energy levels, reduces stress, and makes us far more compassionate. The application of mindfulness to the work environment is an opportunity to rethink some of our old ideas and perhaps see new possibilities. For example: do we really want to encourage multi-tasking? Can we design workspaces to have less distraction? Of the hours we work, how many of those hours are we truly present? Would it be better to work less hours, but better more-present hours? The good news is that everyone can learn to be more mindful. It only requires us to have a willingness to experiment and be open to the possibility that there may be a better way of living our lives. Organisations today have a unique opportunity to explore how mindfulness can be used for strategic advantage. It surely makes sense that if your people are more in touch with reality, they will better anticipate customer needs and then serve those needs in a way that’s productive and efficient. After all, if Google are teaching their people to be more mindful, is it something we too should be considering?
--David Keane Sun, 01 Mar 2015 17:18:59 +1300 http://artofdeliberatesuccess.com/blog/mindfulness-at-work/ Be Here Now http://artofdeliberatesuccess.com/blog/be-here-now/ Some time ago I was invited to talk to 400 workers at an oil refinery about a simple topic: the moment of now. As I faced the packed auditorium that day, I thought about the importance of being in the now and the consequences of letting our minds drift while doing certain types of work. For these people in the refinery, there would be no second chances. With millions of litres of highly flammable fuel on site, one critical error would have disastrous consequences.
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While not all of us find ourselves in such high-risk environments, we can all – myself included – become better at being in the here and now.
The willingness and ability to live fully in the now eludes many people. While eating your starter, don’t be concerned with dessert. While reading a book, notice where your thoughts are. While on holiday, be there instead of thinking about what should have been done and what has to be done when you return home.
When you think about it, the only time we ever have is now. The past is made up of ‘nows’ that have been, while the future is no more than ‘nows’ yet to be experienced. Don’t let thoughts of the past and future crowd out the present as it is actually happening.
While few people would deny the value of such advice, the reality is that most of us drift in and out of the present moment despite our best efforts. So, if you find this happens to you, what can you do about it? Ironically the best time to do something is now! Instead of scolding yourself for your lack of attention, return to the present moment as soon as possible. To help you do this, I have created a simple three-step method represented by the letters of the word NOW.
N – Notice It. If you are doing something and you find yourself drifting, the very first step is to acknowledge that your focus is not where it should be. Simply by noticing this, you effectively put yourself back in the driver’s seat. The alternative – drifting somewhat unconsciously among thoughts of past and future – may be enjoyable at times but it’s not moving you forward in any meaningful way.
O – Own It. The second step is to fess-up and accept that you are the only one responsible for your thoughts. The circumstances of your life don’t dictate your thinking; you and only you choose what to think about. To acknowledge this is to take control of drift in your life and begin to do something positive about it.
W – Work It. This final step is about taking action to get your thoughts from where they are to where they should be. The best way of doing this is to make contact with one of your five senses: touch, seeing, hearing, smell and taste. Tuning into your breathing is also an excellent way of returning to the present moment. Making direct contact with your senses and your breath allows immediate escape from incessant mental chatter into the now.
If you would like to study more about this simple but profound subject, I highly recommend the books The Power of Now and A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. These books, combined with what you learn from your own practical experience, will enable you to be more fully present in your life.
In The Power of Now, Tolle writes:
“The present moment is the field on which the game of life happens. It cannot happen anywhere else. Once you have made peace with the present moment, see what happens, what you can do or choose to do, or rather what life does through you. There are three words that convey the secret of the art of living, the secret of all success and happiness: One With Life. Being one with life is being one with Now. You then realise that you don’t live your life, but life lives you. Life is the dancer and you are the dance.” Be here NOW.
-- David Keane Sun, 01 Feb 2015 17:47:11 +1300 http://artofdeliberatesuccess.com/blog/be-here-now/ Read Your Way to Success http://artofdeliberatesuccess.com/blog/read-your-way-to-success/ I’m often asked the question, “What is the single most important thing a person can do to live a more deliberately successful life?” I must confess that I do not know for sure what that single secret would be. I can tell you, however, that way up there on my list would be the habit of reading good personal development and self-mastery books as well as the biographies of people you admire.
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Reading books of this kind is a wonderful way of ensuring that you are always learning from the experiences of others and that you remain open to experimenting with new ideas in your own life. With the best will in the world, without an active reading programme it’s very difficult to keep the momentum of self-development going.
For many people, however, “finding time” for reading is a major obstacle. They cannot see how they can possibly find the spare hours to sit down quietly and engross themselves in a good book. The problem with this kind of thinking is that, in practice, very little reading is done in such serene circumstances. When you talk to avid readers you’ll discover that most of their reading is done “between” other activities in their lives. You may be surprised by how much reading you can get done in the five or ten minutes while waiting for appointments, while travelling, or simply the minutes between things happening. When you approach reading in this way, you’ll be surprised by how much you’ll get done every week. If you break it down, most books are about 250 pages in length which means that you only need to read 35 pages a day to read a book a week. When you get into the rhythm of it, this goal is certainly achievable. If you were to read a book a week for 50 weeks of the year, over five years you would have completed 250 books. Now that would put you in the category of “expert” in the most important subject of all: yourself and your personal mastery. The key to reading in this way can be summed up in one word: preparation. You need to know which books are on your reading programme, get access to them when you need them, and then have your “book of the week” with you throughout each day. One way to manage your reading list is to have a file – perhaps on your phone – which you can access, and add to, day to day. Once you have an established programme of reading, you’ll find yourself taking note of new book releases, recommendations from friends, and references you’ll discover within your current reading. The best and cheapest way to access books is through your local library. Most libraries are well stocked with the kind of books we’re talking about here, and if there is a specific title you need, they’ll get it for you. As well as physical books, most libraries have extensive collections of audio books and increasingly e-books which you can borrow. Be ready to read as your day unfolds. The best way to do this is to always have your book on your person either in your bag or, if it’s an audio book, on your iPod or MP3 player. Driving is also a great opportunity to enjoy audio books. As you read, I recommend that you keep one question in the back of your mind: “What am I learning from this?” This will ensure that your reading has a purpose and that you are extracting some value from your efforts. If you find yourself answering “nothing” too often, perhaps it’s time to move to the next chapter or onto your next book. For some people, note taking can really help with their reading. It heightens alertness and solidifies the learning process. If you’re one of these people, you might consider getting a journal specifically for this purpose. Jim Rohn, one of my favourite authors, once said that reading and the building of a “personal library” is one of the greatest things anyone can do. And if you begin to see reading as an “in between” activity, you’ll be well on your way to greatness.
-- David Keane Mon, 01 Dec 2014 11:58:39 +1300 http://artofdeliberatesuccess.com/blog/read-your-way-to-success/ Be Less Busy http://artofdeliberatesuccess.com/blog/be-less-busy/ How often have you been asked the question, “Are you busy?” It’s an interesting question because behind it lurk some fundamental assumptions that influences how you might answer – irrespective of the truth. Perhaps the most significant assumption is that being busy is a good thing. But is this true?
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When you look at the lives of really successful people (as I have), you’ll notice that those who achieve extraordinary results don’t seem very busy at all. Indeed, one of the main reasons for their success is their ability to focus on the few things that really matter and then concentrate their attention until they achieve the outcomes they want. In contrast, less successful people tend to take on too much and have a more “scattergun” approach to their lives.
If you want to become less busy, and more successful, it pays to look at all aspects of your professional and personal life. Here are 10 questions to ask yourself. 
<ol><li>Do you know what’s truly important to you? Because we cannot do and be everything, we need to make choices about what we value, what our priorities are, and what we can ignore.</li>
<li>If there is excessive clutter in your life, what can be done to eliminate it?</li>
<li>In what ways do the things you say to yourself keep you busy on the wrong things? By becoming aware of your self-talk, you can take action to change the soundtrack.</li>
<li>How do you interact with information? Are you an information junkie? Are you addicted to social media, phones, or email? If so, you are likely to be spending your time on activities that make you “busy” but are you being successful?</li>
<li>What are your beliefs about being busy? Do you see it as a badge of honour? Perhaps by reviewing your beliefs, you’ll begin to notice that it’s your beliefs that drive your behaviour and therefore the results you get in your life.</li>
<li>When you are less busy, you’ll have more energy for doing things that matter the most. On a scale of 1 to 10, where are you right now in terms of physical, mental, emotional and spiritual energy?</li>
<li>Are you a person who takes responsibility for the circumstance of your life? If so, you’ll find it much easier to make good choices and live a life that is less hectic both professionally and personally.</li>
<li>When it comes to doing things, are you able to maintain concentration, or are you easily distracted? People who achieve more success are better able to zone into what needs to be done.</li>
<li>How are you with managing your time? We all have the same amount of time every week – 168 hours. We don’t manage our time, but the use of our time.</li>
<li>Successful people constantly measure how they are doing. If you are a busy person, can you review your life and perhaps make some different choices?</li>
</ol> Busyness isn’t essential. Yes, there is a lot to do, but believing you’re always busy because there is so much to do is both false and unhelpful. When you look at the notion of being busy with fresh eyes, you might see that busyness is not so much a badge of honour but a misalignment between what’s important to you and where you direct your effort. The author Robert Louise Stevenson was onto something: “Extreme busyness, whether at school or college, kirk or market, is a symptom of deficient vitality.”
 The great news is that being busy is a choice. It’s a choice that’s open to you every moment of every day. Choose carefully.
-- David Keane Sat, 01 Nov 2014 11:48:03 +1300 http://artofdeliberatesuccess.com/blog/be-less-busy/ Ask Better Questions http://artofdeliberatesuccess.com/blog/ask-better-questions/ In my work with high-performing successful people I have observed that they are masters of asking good questions. Good questions of themselves, good questions of others, and good questions of their organisations.
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The power of a good question is that it’s a genuine attempt to solicit new information and it is asked in a way that motivates and empowers. Poor questions, in comparison, have exactly the opposite impact. Consider these: Why are you behind schedule? Where’s the problem with this project? Who’s the weakest link? Whose idea was that? Too often we ask poor questions not realising that they are not real questions but veiled attempts at casting blame or even manipulation. At the extreme, questions beginning with “Don’t you agree with me on …” are severely limited on so many fronts. Good questions cast new light on situations and are asked in a way that not only allows for creative insights but are self-motivating and empowering. Try these: What key things need to happen to achieve the objective? What kind of support do you need to ensure success? What have you accomplished so far that you are most pleased with? Really great questions begin with the word “What”. Unlike all the other starting words (who, why, how etc) “what” questions are neutral in that they don’t attempt to direct blame, but are open and lead to a possibility kind of thinking. Most questions can be rephrased as “what” questions with a little effort. Instead of asking “Why are we in this situation?” try “What factors lead us to be in this situation” and “What do you think about …?” When asked a good question the responder is given the space to reflect, challenge taken-for-granted assumptions, and given the courage and strength to generate positive action. You’ll notice that in really great questions, the role of the questioner is to be in the background, almost invisible, so that the responder can feel genuine freedom and allow for creativity to emerge. The main reason we don’t ask good questions is that we are afraid of what we might discover. This leads us to be shielded from the truth and have a distorted sense of reality. But as GE’s former CEO Jack Welch says, leading successfully means “seeing the world the way it is, not the way we hope it will be or wish it to be.” This means that the questioner should not only be brave but must also be very comfortable in their own skin in order to ask great questions. They are selfless with the belief that the response from the question is far more important than their own ego or the need to “show-off” their own knowledge. Like many other management skills, it all begins with self-mastery and really knowing who you are. As a development exercise for the next month:
<ol><li>Notice the type of questions you are asking. What are your questions achieving? What word do they begin with?</li>
<li>What kinds of questions do those around you ask?</li>
<li>Note what you’ve learned and experiment with making some changes. Perhaps involve your colleagues in the exercise too.</li>
</ol> Now, what great questions are you going to ask? And of whom?
-- David Keane Wed, 01 Oct 2014 12:57:31 +1300 http://artofdeliberatesuccess.com/blog/ask-better-questions/ Employees First - Customers Second http://artofdeliberatesuccess.com/blog/employees-first-customers-second/ For much of my business career I have been operating on a false assumption. That assumption is that the customer is more important than anything else and we should design and run organisations to be customer-orientated and even customer-driven.
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 When I look back on it now, it seems the seeds of this belief were sown when I did my undergraduate business degree almost 30 years ago. I can still hear the old lines, like mantras, playing in my head. Everything begins and ends with the customer. We exist to satisfy customer needs and even, the customer is King. You too may have had the same messaging. But, are these ideas true? Recently I have updated my thinking and concluded that employees are far more important than customers. We should design and operate organisations with the sole aim of creating an environment where people can give of their very best and, in that way, they will respond in kind, which will ultimately result in exceptional customer experiences. This switch in thinking has come from asking a simple question: what’s the purpose of an organisation? The answer is to offer customers value for which they are willing to pay. The arena where this negotiation happens can be called the “value zone” – the cauldron where customers and organisational representatives play this game of offering and bidding to end up with an arrangement where both parties can agree and a deal can be done. From an organisational perspective, the key player in making things happen within the value zone is the employee. They are the ones who are the interface between the business and the customer, they are the eyes and ears, trend-spotters, and designers of solutions for customer problems not yet anticipated. They are the ones who deliver the products and services day-in, day-out. One company that’s taking this approach is HCL Technologies, a global IT services company of 90,000 employees. HCL have created a culture where the employee is at the very centre of everything they do. Employees effectively become the “bosses”, and managers, through an inverted pyramid model report to the employees of the business on such issues as performance, profitability and potential opportunities. It’s a way of working that calls for high transparency. The results are seriously impressive. In the first 5 years of the “Employees First” programme HCL revenues and market capitalisation have grown by a factor of 6 and the company has been named the Best Employer in Asia. One of the keys to becoming an “Employee First” organisation is to acknowledge that your people have lives outside of their work. Your people, especially if they are Gen Y, are looking for a place where they can grow in all dimensions of their lives. They want to contribute and they want to know that what they do matters. They want to see a strong connection between what they do every day and some kind of meaning for their lives. If you work hard on helping your employees be the best they can be, it makes sense that they will play their part well. Your people will become authentic representatives of your organisation and, amazingly your customers will thank you for it.
-- David Keane Mon, 01 Sep 2014 14:58:51 +1200 http://artofdeliberatesuccess.com/blog/employees-first-customers-second/ Don't Answer That Phone http://artofdeliberatesuccess.com/blog/don-t-answer-that-phone/ If you look around you, you’ll notice that we have become a society of instant everything. We have, for example, on-demand TV channels and movies, instant microwave dinners, and an ever increasing range of 24/7 services of all kinds. We have become accustomed to having what we want and to having it now.
Nowhere is this trend more obvious than in the way we have allowed the telephone and their mobile cousins to dominate our lives. We like to be in touch 24/7 and feel “lost” when we are out of the communications loop for even a short time. Recently I saw an advertisement from a mobile phone company declaring that 38% of people check and respond to their text messages while in the bathroom. It seems there is no escape from the need to be in-touch. But, does life really need to be like this?
The perceived need to be constantly in-touch and highly connected is unhealthy for many of us. It hooks us up to a world and a pace of living that, in my view, is unnecessary and unhelpful. If we are not careful, we can allow technology to dictate the pace, and to a large extent, the control of our lives. Without even thinking, we can surrender the direction of our lives to our impulsive need to respond to that ringing phone or to look at that incoming text message.
Research shows that people who are able to resist impulse urges and delay gratification are much more likely to be more successful and more contented in their lives. It seems that our ability to resist impulse urges is formed within us early in life and is a behaviour that we learn primarily from our parents when we are very young. Thankfully, it is also a skill we can improve as we get older.
In one research study, children were put in a room on their own with a tempting selection of candy and chocolate and told they were not to eat anything until they were told to do so by the researchers. Of course, few children were able to resist, especially knowing that nobody was watching – or so they thought. The researchers followed these children over several years and discovered those with the greater resistance to temptation performed better at school and were generally more “successful” later in their lives.
The way you respond to a ringing phone will give you an interesting insight into yourself. How good are you at resisting impulse? And, more generally, can you delay immediate satisfaction, stay focussed on your immediate (and more important) tasks, and get to the message waiting on your phone later?
Now unless your job is working with emergency services or your specific role is to deal with incoming calls (think help desk or receptionist), try not answering your phone for a while and see what happens. Allow that ringing phone to go to your voicemail or messaging service. You can try this in your home as well.
For a start you’ll see a big drop in the number of “crisis” situations cropping up in your life. When you think about it, very often, the person at the other end of the line has something going on that they want to get you involved with – now. This matter may or may not be your responsibility. As one management writer put it, they have a monkey on their shoulder that’s about to make the leap to your shoulder.
You’ll also notice that the pace of your world will begin to slow down for the better. If you engage with that phone call now, it’s likely you’ll get caught up in the emotion of the moment, things will seem far more urgent than they really are, and you’ll get sucked into dealing with something that perhaps is not your most important priority. When you listen to your message later, you’ll have time to think, and the space to consider what the best course of action really is.
Now, just to be clear here, I am not saying that you shirk your responsibilities or avoid taking action when action is needed. There will always be times when immediate action is called for and indeed it is entirely appropriate for the monkey to make the leap. The trick is to allow yourself the opportunity to decide – for yourself – what needs your attention now and what can wait.
As I have practiced this strategy, I have observed that many things that were “crisis” situations have somehow resolved themselves without my intervention at all. And sometimes, the result - or the process of resolution – has been better than if I was involved.
So, the next time your phone rings, let it go to your answering service. I predict you’ll be surprised by what you'll discover.
-- David Keane Fri, 01 Aug 2014 21:20:06 +1200 http://artofdeliberatesuccess.com/blog/don-t-answer-that-phone/ Simplify, Simplify, Simplify http://artofdeliberatesuccess.com/blog/simplify-simplify-simplify/ I have a sign near my writing desk at home which simply says “Simplify”. Every time I look at it, I am challenged to continually look for ways of taking the complexity out of what I am doing. It has helped me enormously, and I would encourage you to look at your own situation and begin to experience the benefits of simplification for yourself.
Simplification is necessary because it is a natural phenomenon that, over time and unchecked, what we do – or fail to do – will eventually fall into a state of chaos. If you look at any area of your life you will see this to be true.
Take for example the common problem of keeping your garage or basement in some kind of order. If you’re like me, your beautifully tidy garage will slowly start accumulating all kinds of items (old boxes, electrical goods that don’t work anymore, and things we have put there because we don’t want to store them anywhere else). And then, one day, you’ll notice how your once pristine garage is in need of a serious clean up. How did this happen so quickly, you wonder?
The reality is that over time, if left unchecked, all “systems” will fall into a state of disorganisation. But why?
The science of systems theory, and more specifically an area of study called Cybernetics, provides us with the answer. According to the science, all systems will adjust, over time, to deal with their changing environment. These are called “open” systems because they are designed to operate or change how they work, depending on what is going on – they are open to adjustment.
The trouble with open systems is that while they adjust themselves to account for local one-off changes, (“I’ll just leave the broken hedge trimmer in the garage here and deal with it later”), it is these exceptions that, added together, produce a cumulative effect that is greater than the sum of each minor individual exception. Soon enough, the broken hedge trimmer is accompanied by the empty box from the new trimmer that you have just bought. And so on.
This explains why, every once and a while, we need to look at the various aspects of our lives or systems and put them through the process of simplification. Fundamentally, this involves looking at the purpose of the system (in the case of a garage, it’s perhaps to store items of value that we shall use in the future), honestly appraise where we are now, and eliminate or reduce those elements that do not serve their purpose anymore. It’s getting back to basics.
The reasoning we have followed in the maintenance of our garage can also be applied to every other aspect of your life. In your work life, for example, is it time to take a review of how you work, who you interact with, and how you spend your hours at work? You may notice that you have adopted patterns that, while once useful or relevant, may no longer be appropriate. Take a step back, ask the hard questions, simplify, and get back to the basics of what is truly important.
In most jobs you will notice that there are at most one or two things that are at the core of what you do. Get these consistently right, and you’ll be doing a good job. In management theory, these items are called Critical Success Factors (CSF’s), because by respecting these few things, you will greatly influence your ability to succeed. What are your CSF’s? Write them down.
I was once involved in a project where we separately asked the CEO and each of the 10 or so people who directly reported to him to write down what they believed to be the CSF’s for their job and also for their organisation as a whole. The results were shocking – for some it was excellence in marketing, for others it was a focus on engineering or production, and for yet another director it was superb cost management. Talk about everybody on the team looking towards the same goal post!
According to author Brian Tracy, the very best way to identify your CSF’s is to imagine that you had an unexpected phone call and in 2 hours time, you’ll be going out of town for a month. Now, where would you put your attention? You’ll notice that your efforts will be directed at those things that truly matter and likely at things that will have an enduring and significant impact. It’s a great exercise to help you become a master of simplification.
When you start looking, you’ll see that every dimension of your life – your work, your hobbies, your money, your relationships, and your lifestyle – can be simplified. Beneath the complexity of life lie deeper and deeper layers of simplicity. 
-- David Keane Tue, 01 Apr 2014 23:11:49 +1300 http://artofdeliberatesuccess.com/blog/simplify-simplify-simplify/ Live with Passion http://artofdeliberatesuccess.com/blog/live-with-passion/ In the past month, I’ve had two different experiences that have reminded me of how important it is to have passion in your life. When you’re passionate about something, it makes such a difference not only in how you see yourself, but also on the impact it can have for those who come in contact with you.
By way of introduction to the first experience, I need to let you know that in my family, being able to travel and to explore new places is something we really value and enjoy. So this year, as part of our annual vacation, we decided to stay a week in New York City. Over the years, we have learned that when visiting a new city, it is a good idea to get one of those 24-hour tourist bus passes that allows you to hop-on and hop-off the bus as it circles various points of interest. It’s a good way to get your bearings while helping you decide which of the sights you may want to explore some more.
And so it was on a drizzly summer’s day in New York City, we boarded a topless red bus on-route for a 2-hour circular tour of the famous borough of Brooklyn. I knew fairly quickly that something was not quite right when our tour guide, Parnell, got his new notepad from his bag and proceeded to tell us that this was his first day taking the Brooklyn tour and he apologised in advance for his lack of knowledge. We began to wonder if we should hop off the bus at the upcoming stop and catch the next bus with, hopefully, a more knowledgeable guide. But that all changed after only a few minutes. As we made our way through the busy Manhattan traffic, Parnell told us a little about himself, his life as a New Yorker, and how he had found his “calling” in life as a tour guide. In his own words, “he wished to be nowhere else today.”
Over the next few minutes, Parnell continued his commentary as we passed various sights and landmarks. What was amazing to me was his level of enthusiasm for his work. He was not simply showing us places of interest; he was genuinely enthusiastic about spending the next 2 hours of his life with 40 or so total strangers on his bus. Soon enough, the fact that Parnell was a newbie and had to make frequent reference to his notepad, did not make the slightest bit of difference to any of us. Passion trumps mere knowledge every time. His genuine enthusiasm made all the difference. At the end of a most enjoyable tour, Parnell received a rousing round of applause full of gratitude from all his passengers. And I’m sure, a great tip too!
What drives people who are passionate? I believe that it is always based on the idea of service – genuinely wanting to be of assistance to others so that their lives are better in some tangible way. If you can see your life and your work in terms of service, or in making a contribution in some way, you will have taken a major leap forward.
My second experience is that of attending the funeral of our next door neighbour, George, a few weeks ago. When he died, George was 94 years old, and in his own words, “ready to go”. For most of his life, George lived here in our local village where he and his wife – Hetty – raised a beautiful family. What made George a most remarkable person was how he lived his life. To say that he was passionate about our village would be somewhat of an understatement. For almost 60 years, George was at the centre of almost everything that happened locally. He campaigned on all sorts of issues, was a key player in the development of our community hall, and he loved where he lived. As we said “goodbye and thank you” to George, the overwhelming feeling that day in our packed community hall was one of gratitude. George was truly passionate about everything local. And that’s how he would like to be remembered.
What I admire about Parnell and George is that their passion was fuelled by this genuine desire to serve others. They were not doing it for their own benefit, but in a strange way, they did benefit too. They had lives of meaning, wanted to wake up in the morning, and must have experienced tremendous enjoyment from how they spent their time.
So, what are you passionate about?
-- David Keane Sat, 01 Mar 2014 14:39:29 +1300 http://artofdeliberatesuccess.com/blog/live-with-passion/ Have an Attitude of Gratitude http://artofdeliberatesuccess.com/blog/have-an-attitude-of-gratitude/ Did you ever notice that people who look at the world with a grateful eye are generally happier, more contented, and more successful? Somehow people with genuine gratitude in their hearts are able to achieve extraordinary results because they attract the right people and opportunities into their life which, in turn, enables them to be successful.
When you make the decision to be grateful – and it is a decision – you immediately begin to see the good in everything. Even within the most difficult or unpleasant situation, it’s possible to find something positive. Grateful people can always see the silver lining, the rainbow, the pot of gold, the light at the end of the tunnel.
Years ago, James Alan wrote that we become what we think about. What we think about, therefore, really matters. And people who are grateful know this secret.
But why does it matter so much? When we are grateful for what life throws at us, even if it is something we may not have chosen, we tend to accept the situation without resistance. We say to ourselves, “what is, is” and we then get on with making the best of the situation. Without resistance, we immediately begin to make progress despite how we might have wished things to be different than they are. We don’t waste time.
So, no matter what the circumstances, it’s a good idea to immediately begin to look for the positives and to clearly isolate one or two things for which you have gratitude. You might even consider writing these down in a gratitude journal or notebook. In the beginning this approach may appear strange or even false to you, but I can assure you that, with practice, you’ll notice less stress and more progress in your life.
In a study at the University of California at Davis, Professor Robert Emmons came up with some very interesting and illuminating results from his research project on gratitude and thankfulness. Professor Emmons found that people who kept gratitude journals on a weekly basis exercised more regularly, reported fewer physical symptoms, felt better about their lives as a whole, and were more optimistic about the upcoming week compared to those who recorded hassles or neutral life events. In addition, participants who kept the journals were more likely to make progress towards their personal goals in life.
The study also notes that people with a strong disposition toward gratitude have the capacity to be empathic and to take the perspective of others. Grateful individuals place less importance on material goods; they are less likely to judge their own and others success in terms of possessions accumulated; they are less envious of wealthy persons; and are more likely to share their possessions with others relative to less grateful persons.
It is also very interesting to know that some of the wealthiest individuals in the world are also the most grateful. If you want to see this for yourself, visit <a href="http://www.givingpledge.org" target="_blank">www.givingpledge.org</a> and read the letters from such well known people as Bill Gates, Warren Buffett and Paul Allen. On this website, these high wealth individuals pledge to give the majority of their enormous wealth away in support of worthwhile projects and endeavours – all within their lifetimes. As you read, you’ll be struck by how truly grateful these individuals are for the opportunities that came their way, as well as their concern for using their massive resources in the best possible way.
How can you start to practice gratitude? Begin with the art of mindfulness, being totally present in the moment. When you notice all the little things that surround you, you’ll wake up to an abundance of opportunities to be grateful. Notice the beauty that is in nature and in your life.
One of the practices I have adopted is to go out of my way to say “thank you” to as many people as possible throughout my day. Even a trip to the grocery store is an ideal opportunity to notice how your attitude of gratitude can make a difference to someone else. The next time you are in a checkout line, take the time to really connect with the checkout operator, say “thank you” so you really mean it, and then just watch the impact it has on them.
At work, instead of focussing on what’s wrong or what could be better, decide to direct your attention to what is working well. This is not to ignore areas for improvement, but start from a position of gratitude and from there advance to what can be different. This change of approach will produce outcomes that will surprise you and your colleagues.
When you are present and in the now, you’ll begin to notice all kinds of ways to be thankful. Being thankful now is the key to attracting prosperity into your life.
-- David Keane Sat, 01 Feb 2014 10:55:39 +1300 http://artofdeliberatesuccess.com/blog/have-an-attitude-of-gratitude/ Cancel New Years Resolutions http://artofdeliberatesuccess.com/blog/cancel-new-years-resolutions/ The older I get, the less I believe in the idea of having New Years Resolutions. In fact, I now actively discourage people from even trying to set them. They don’t work. And the reason they don’t stick in the long term is that they are built on a very unstable (and fleeting) event – the turn of a calendar from the month of December to January.
When you think about it, we should not have things that are important to us hinge on such a superficial basis as the turn of a page. If there are things about our work and personal life that we want to change we should deliberately decide to make the change, prepare ourself the best we can, and then set a date for the beginning of the new behaviour.
Here is a simple 7-step process you can use to bring about important changes in your personal and/or professional life:
1. Make a list of three things you would like to change in both you personal and professional life. Generally those things that matter most are not once-off events, but new behaviours that you do repeatedly and with a consistency that it becomes a new habit for you.
2. From the list of three, select the one that is most important in each of personal and professional areas. You’ll know the most important ones because the doing of it (or not doing) will create the most impact. Generally, this will be at least 3 or 4 times more impact than the remaining two on your list.
3. For the change you have selected, take some time in a quiet place, and with a pen and paper (perhaps a journal), make a list of all the good reasons why putting the new behaviour in place will make such a difference. For what reasons will things be better? What will your life look like? How good will you feel with the new behaviour firmly embedded in your daily life routine?
4. With the change isolated, plan to make it happen. This may involve some preparation on your part, the getting of some resources, or making changes in other aspects of your life to give yourself the best possible start. It’s also a good idea to pick a specific date for the change to “go live.” Perhaps pick a date in mid to late January or in early February so you have time get the possible start with the new behaviour.
5. When the date comes, make sure to deliberately plan in your weekly 7–day planner for the doing of the new behaviour. Even if it only takes 5 minutes, the recording of it in your planner will make sure it is at the top of your mind and therefore far more likely to be done.
6. As you successfully execute the new behaviour, experience the benefits of the new behaviour and formally record in your journal the benefits you are actually getting. When you experience benefits, you will want to continue, because the not doing of the new behaviour is a loss to you.
7. If, for whatever reason, you start to slip with the new behaviour, don’t beat yourself up, instead, go back to your journal, re-read the benefits, and make a plan to resume the new behaviour as soon as possible. Get back on the horse! Remember what you are trying to do is establish a new habit, so it becomes ingrained in your daily life. It’s a bit like the habit of washing your teeth – it’s something we do out of habit, and because it’s so routine, we would not consider the non-doing of it.
Once you have firmly established the one change that is the most important, go back to your initial list, choose the next high impact change, and begin working on that in the same way. It’s far better to focus your attention of one change at a time, beginning with the most high-impact and staying with it until it becomes normal for you.
As you begin to make changes, I wish you well, and I am reminded of the words of George Bernard Shaw:
People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want; and if they can’t find them, make them.
-- David Keane Wed, 01 Jan 2014 21:23:26 +1300 http://artofdeliberatesuccess.com/blog/cancel-new-years-resolutions/